Of Spinach and Brain Aneurysms

6/9/08

I know, I have broken one of the cardinal rules of blogging, and that is to consistently post entries. My last entry was March 27 but surely that many people aren't interested in my blog?

First off, I came up with a fabulous recipe for spinach that I have to share with you. I knew I wanted spinach tonight with dinner and I prefer cooked spinach to just a spinach salad. I don't know what to call this so it's untitled for now. Let me know if you have a good name for it.

1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1/4 cup fine balsamic vinegar
1/4 tsp anise seeds
1 tsp dried cilantro
Firm shake of cinnamon
2 cups of baby spinach, with firm stems removed
10 red grapes, halved

In a large, non-stick pan, heat oil and vinegar over medium heat. Add spices and stir. When hot, add spinach and cook, stirring constantly, until just beginning to wilt. Add grapes and cook for one minute longer, or until spinach is wilted. Serve over chicken breast with wild rice. Can also stuff a thick chicken breast by cutting a slit in the middle of the breast and stuffing with half the spinach mixture. Or pound out a chicken breast until 1/4 inch thick, put half the mixture in the middle of the breast; roll shut and pin with toothpicks. Cook until done, approximately 30 minutes.

So, the deal about the aneurysm. Who knows what I have. But this has been a bumpy week for me. After suffering with daily headaches for over three months, I finally made an appointment with a neurologist. She thought it might be a condition called pheochromocytoma. This is where you have a tumor in your adrenal gland, causing an outpouring of stuff like epinephrine, adrenaline and other hormones that cause your blood pressure and heart rate to spike. Oh, my blood pressure on that visit was through the roof. I was sweating a lot, had some hand tremors--basically, I was a mess. So first I was worried about this pheochromocytoma. I did a 24 hour urine collection, and then waited for my PCP to call me back with the results. More on that later.

Then I had an MRI with contrast last Monday, June 2. Pretty standard diagnostic tool for headaches. On Wednesday, my doctor calls and leaves me a message on my work voice mail. Well, I don't check any of my voice mails. Then she called again on Thursday, talked to Reed and left a message on my home voice mail. Finally, I listen to the message on Friday morning, about 2 a.m. She said the radiologist saw a "spot" or an "area" that he was concerned about and wanted another test to help him identify it. So today, Monday, June whatever, 9th, I got a CT angiogram of my brain.

So now, I get to worry if I have a tumor on my adrenal gland, is it malignant, etc. And I get to worry if I have an aneurysm. I think I know enough about neuro now, after marketing them for a few years now, to know that they likely did not see a brain tumor on my MRI. The CT angiogram is better for detecting vascular problems, like aneurysm. The tech at my CT appt today asked me, "So is this a known aneurysm?" Huh?!? "Well, I don't know what I have." Then he backpedals a bit.

So I am wondering if this is how "it" starts, this process of having some serious disease or condition. Right now, I am in the excruciating waiting period, waiting for some confirmation of what the hell is going on with me. I mean, this is never how it is for me. I always think I am extraordinary, then it always turns out I am just ordinary. So based on my history, my neurologist should be calling me Wednesday and saying, "Well, not to worry, it's just stress headaches. Just reduce your stress levels!" And we all laugh and laugh. Of course, I want to be ordinary now. My life is going pretty good. Good job, great boyfriend, nice house, adorable cat, normal friends. Normal life.

Wait, what was that one line? Was it from a Sex and the City episode?? "You can't have a great job, a great boyfriend and a great house all at the same time" Was that the line?

Is this what other people do just before getting a serious diagnosis? Say things like "It can't be possible." "I'm just fine" "There's nothing to be concerned about"? I'm ordinary. Dammit.

And my neurologist did tell me that it might be migraines, my symptoms match with migraines. And that people get migraines later in life. Even if they have never had a migraine in the past or never were bothered by headaches in general.

And truth be told, my blood pressure has run high for years now. I don't eat right, I don't exercise. I am 41. What should I expect? Of course, I have high blood pressure and hypertension can cause headaches. This is my wake up call. God, are you listening? This is my WAKE UP CALL. I get it! I am going to lose weight, go to the gym at least three nights a week. I passed by that giant cookie someone brought into work today. I passed it at least a dozen times and never touched it. Not until I was leaving for the day, and there were only crumbs left. And I picked up the tray and put all the crumbs in my hand and ate them. But I won't do that again. I will bring my Weight Watchers chocolate chip cookies to work and eat one of them if I am tempted again.

Well, shit. It just popped into my head that I may have skipped a few steps in the disease process stages, if it's like Kubler Ross' stages of grief. Am I freaking bargaining now in my blog entry??

And the worst part of all this is the fatigue. When I saw the neurologist, I didn't mark the box asking if I was fatigued. That's not me. That's crawling up the steps to go to the bathroom. I am not fatigued. But dammit if I can't get through the day now without a nap. I had to come home from my CT scan this morning and take a nap before going back to work. I think that is just the stress of waiting and going through all these tests. Once I get a definitive answer, I will be back to normal.

I guess I have yet again broken another cardinal rule of blogging--"Keep it short!" Well, for the love of god, I can't keep any of my writing short. I got a lot on my mind. If you don't want to read this, then stop reading!

But I will try to keep you all posted (you all being all three of you!) on what I find out. And maybe those entries will be shorter, but don't count on it.

Drew

PS: well, I have to do a PS, as I was proofing this (yes, I always proof what I write, at least putting it in Word to do spell check), I realized I didn't tell you about my lab results today. I started calling my doctor's office, my PCP, last Thursday to get the results of the urinalysis. Then again on Friday. No response. They usually send a postcard to your house telling you everything is normal. I don't want a postcard, I want someone to call me, whether it's normal or not. Today I used their online system to send one email, then another at 4:20 when I hadn't heard back from them and they had forwarded their phones before closing time. I told them I would be coming in person the next day to get my lab results. And I was all prepared to do so, ready to cancel a 9AM meeting to wait there as long as I needed to. That is such BS. So Samantha called me at 5:30 to give me my results. So liver is normal. Oh, and my cholesterol was crazy high when my PCP did it in his office so he had me do a fasting cholesterol. My bad cholesterol is normal, my good is low and my triglycerides are high. And the chromo-somethings in my urinalysis were normal. But they were still waiting on the results of the metanephrine and she hoped they had would have these results tomorrow. So I am half okay. I am frustrated that this is taking so freaking long. I want answers so I can go back to normal. I want normal.

dc